Insomnia, In My Gentle Twilight Hues
by Dorothy A. Bell
In the black and white
Before she decides the color of the day,
The earth lies still and stark,
And I rest in a sleepless haze.
In my head,
Upon a stage, miniscule and grand
A shade, I call insomnia, splatters across the bleak pre-light.
Applying a creative pallet.
Here I lay suspended
Seeking relief from my body’s
To ignore the pest
I turn up the volume
On an old, familiar dream.
At first, the vision floats out of focus.
I tune it in…
Sharpen the scene
I know every player’s part.
If I shift my body’s weight
will fall apart.
With the wild drumbeat of my heart
Pounding against my skull,
I take shallow breaths.
My organ’s constant rhythm interferes.
I know my heart is there,
blood and sinew,
Yet I resent the intrusion.
What I crave, is my illusion,
Distraction from my pain is what I seek.
Garish color spreads across the cheek
Of the earth where I lay.
Ah, it’s here,
The dreaded light of a new day.
My eyes snap shut,
Behind closed lids,
I hold the darkness,
Snatching at a scrap of dream
To carry with me into the fray.
Now in broad daylight,
Hobbled by my infirmities,
Mind and body weary of the struggle,
If I close my eyes,
Return to that old dream,
Looking to escape my body’s unrelenting scream
In the gentle twilight hues of my insomnia.